I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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