I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
