I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
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I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
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I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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