That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
