Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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