Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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