The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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