Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Couch. On fire.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
