so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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