Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
he high fived his dick after we had sex
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
