I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
