it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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