That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
third nipple confirmed
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
