I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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