You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
