She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
