btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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