Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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