I hate your face
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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