we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
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I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
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That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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