at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
