So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
