You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
