We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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