I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
