I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
