Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
