Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
a search helicopter?!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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