I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
