problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
