I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
