Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
