I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
