So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
