You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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