# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
