oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
