Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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