just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
