We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
