You work out of a Hotel?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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