Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
