meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize