I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
