I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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