Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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