College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
