He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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