she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
