I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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