My hair reeks of homosexuality.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
