So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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