If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
