I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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