Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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