He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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