just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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