Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
