Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave

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(646): View more from New York

He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone

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(419): View more from Ohio

it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.

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(802): View more from Vermont

You want anything?

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Gatorade and you naked.

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(925): View more from California

If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20

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(703): View more from Virginia

I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.

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(404): View more from Georgia

We still on for Manwhore Monday?

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