Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
