just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
