we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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