She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She bit a glass in half.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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