proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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