i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
