sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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