dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
