Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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