his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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