On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
